Men experience abuse too
Fathers can experience domestic abuse and often worry they won't be believed. Some hold back because it doesn't look like what they think abuse looks like, or because they feel embarrassed. That reaction is common. It doesn't make what's happening any smaller.
Who to call
ManKind Initiative
Helpline for male victims of domestic abuse. Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm. mankind.org.uk
0808 800 1170
Men's Advice Line
For male victims and anyone supporting them. Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm. mensadviceline.org.uk
0808 801 0327
NHS 111
Urgent mental health support in England. Choose the mental health option. Any time. nhs.uk
111
CALM
For anyone having suicidal thoughts. 5pm to midnight. thecalmzone.net
0800 58 58 58
Samaritans
Someone to listen. Free, any time. samaritans.org
116 123
It isn't only violence
- Coercive or controlling behaviour, or monitoring where you go and who you talk to
- Controlling money, or leaving you without access to it
- Isolating you from family and friends
- Humiliation, threats, or threats to make allegations
- Using arrangements for the children to put pressure on you
Raising it
- With social care
- Ask to speak to the social worker privately. Give specific examples, rough dates and the effect on you and your child. Describe the pattern rather than labels. Read more
- In the family court
- Raise it with Cafcass and on form C1A. It can also exempt you from a MIAM. The court must follow Practice Direction 12J whichever parent raises it. Read more
- At hearings
- Ask in advance for special measures: a separate waiting room, entrance or a screen. You may be protected from being questioned by the other parent in person. Read more
Some fathers are laughed at, or told nobody will believe a man. If that happens, it says something about the response, not about whether what you experienced was real.
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