When enforcement isn't the answer

Enforcement is the right tool for a workable order that one parent is choosing not to follow. It's the wrong tool for several problems that look similar from the outside. Applying it to the wrong problem can cost months, money and goodwill.

When your child is refusing

This is one of the hardest situations in family law. If the other parent has genuinely made your child available, and your child won't go, there may be no breach, depending on the wording of the order. Ask yourself honestly:

• How old is your child, and how settled is their view? A teenager's considered view will carry real weight. A young child's refusal will be looked at more closely.
• What has the other parent actually done? Encouraged, packed a bag, brought them to handover? Or said "I can't make them" and left it there?
• What does the order require? If it only says "allow", you may need to ask for it to be varied to require active encouragement.
• Is anything about time with you contributing? A new partner introduced quickly, tension at handovers, a home that doesn't yet feel like theirs. Sometimes the answer is no. Asking costs nothing.

What usually helps here is careful case management by the same judge, a proper welfare assessment, sometimes therapeutic support for the family, and regular short reviews. Ask for that rather than punishment.

When the order itself is the problem

If someone has moved, your child has changed school or work patterns have shifted, the friction may be structural. Signs include breaches clustered around one provision, the same clash recurring, or vague terms such as "contact to be agreed". Apply to vary (Chapter 18). It's more likely to succeed and produces something that works.

When there is a safeguarding concern

If time stopped because the other parent has raised a concern about your care, the concern is the real issue. Engage with it directly, cooperate with any assessment and ask the court to resolve it (Chapter 9). Until it's resolved, the other parent may have a reasonable excuseReasonable excuse. A good reason for not complying with an order, which can prevent an enforcement order being made., and enforcement is unlikely to succeed.

Barring orders

Under section 91Section 91(14) order. An order preventing a party from making further applications without the court's permission.(14) of the Children Act 1989, the court can stop a parent making further applications without its permission. These orders can be made where repeated applications are themselves causing harm, and can now be made by the court on its own initiative.^[16]

You protect yourself by making applications that are well founded, well evidenced and proportionate, and by not making the ones that aren't. Every weak application makes the strong one harder.

The cost of keeping going

Enforcement can be harder on fathers than the original case. You did what was asked, you got the order, and you're back in the same building months later. That can grind you down quietly. Set a limit in time, money and energy before you start. Keep the rest of your life going. Watch for the point where the fight starts changing you, making you suspicious and unable to enjoy the time you do have. That's the moment to step back, not push harder.