Guides / Family court
Chapter 10 · 3 min read
Keeping a record without losing yourself in it
In short
- 1Keep originals in one secure place, with a short timeline and an actions list.
- 2Record dated facts and sources, not feelings or theories about motives.
- 3Spend ten focused minutes, then stop and get on with your life.
Family court decisions are based on evidence. A clear, factual record helps you stay accurate, prepare documents and show the court what has actually happened. It doesn't need to take over your evenings.
Keep it simple
Keep the original court papers, orders and CafcassCafcass. The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service, which advises the family court on children's welfare in England. Cafcass Cymru does the same in Wales. letters in a secure folder. Put court directions and filing deadlines in your actions list.
Setting up your folder and logs Keeping a record in Beyond the Referral.
The timeline
Add an entry when something affects your child's arrangements, wellbeing or safety, a court direction, or something you have done or offered to do for your child.
| Date | What happened | Source | Outcome |
|---|---|---|---|
| 8 Mar | Collection due 10am under paragraph 3. Arrived 9.55am. No answer. Text sent 10.10am. | Text message, call log | Contact didn't take place. No reply. |
| 12 Mar | Proposed a replacement Saturday by email | Reply on 13 Mar agreeing 22 Mar | |
| 22 Mar | Contact took place. Collected 10am, returned 6pm. | Own record | Next weekend 5 Apr |
Record facts, not conclusions
A weak entry looks like this:
Cancelled again for no reason. Totally unfair and deliberate.
A strong entry looks like this:
22 January, 8.45am: text received saying contact wouldn't go ahead. No reason given. I replied asking to rearrange. No reply.
The first is venting. The second is evidence. The difference between "I've been stopped from seeing them since Christmas" and "between 18 December and 14 March, contact was cancelled on 11 occasions" is the difference between a complaint and something the court can work with.
Be honest about uncertainty. "Approximately mid-February" is more credible than false precision. Don't leave out entries that don't suit you. The other parent's documents may cover them, and it will look as though you tried to hide them.
Messages, photos and recordings
Export full message threads regularly. Screenshots should show the sender, date, time and enough of the conversation to make the context clear. Never edit originals. Work from a copy if you need to highlight something.
Keep photographs only where they record something relevant. Don't photograph your child at handovers to gather evidence, and never take intimate images of an injury. Ask a health or safeguarding professional to record it.
The Family Justice Council published guidance on recordings in 2025.[17] In short:
- Ask first and record openly. If you want to record a meeting with a professional, ask. The guidance encourages agencies to have clear policies on when recordings can be made with everyone's agreement.
- Secret recordings cause problems. Data protection law can apply once a recording is used outside your own home life. A court may not accept a secret recording as evidence, arguing about it costs time and money, and how you made it can count against you.
- Don't secretly record your children. It's very rarely in their interests, and a court may see it as a welfare concern in itself.
- Never record a court hearing. It isn't allowed and can be contempt of court.[1]
Written records are usually more reliable, and far less likely to become a dispute of their own.
Ten minutes is enough
A ten-minute routine Ten minutes is enough in Beyond the Referral.