Guides / Social services
Chapter 11 · 5 min read
Keeping a record without losing yourself in it
In short
- 1Keep the originals and two short logs: key events, and actions and deadlines.
- 2Record facts and sources, not conclusions, and correct important errors quickly.
- 3Ten focused minutes, then stop and get back to your life.
Information about your child ends up spread across meetings, emails, WhatsApp, photos, social care and police documents. A simple record helps you check what happened, follow the plan and show what you have done for your child.
Don't try to record every disagreement or build a case against the other parent. The aim is to keep the important things easy to find and easy to check.
Keep it simple
Keep one folder for the originals: assessments, plans, meeting notes, important emails, full message exports, relevant photos, contact records and police documents.
Alongside it, keep two short logs:
- Key events: important developments, decisions and incidents.
- Actions and deadlines: what was agreed, who's responsible and by when.
Key events
Add an event only if it's about one of these:
- your child's safety, welfare, care or contact
- the current assessment or plan
- an important factual error
- something you have done or offered to do for your child
Leave out routine messages, repeated arguments and several entries making the same point.
| Date | Important event or decision | Source | Outcome or next step |
|---|---|---|---|
| 12 Mar | CINChild in Need (CIN) / section 17. A child who is unlikely to achieve or maintain a reasonable standard of health or development without services; whose health or development is likely to be significantly or further impaired without services; or who… review agreed weekly contact would restart | CIN review minutes, my notes | Social worker to confirm venue by 15 Mar |
| 15 Mar | Contact venue not yet confirmed | Email to social worker | Contact arranged for 20 Mar |
| 20 Mar | Went to contact centre session | Contact centre report | Next session booked |
Actions and deadlines
Keep this list next to your key events. It shows your responsibilities and what professionals have said they will do.
| Action | Who | By when | Progress |
|---|---|---|---|
| Refer father to parenting support | Social worker | 18 May | Waiting for referral |
| House rules exercise with the children | Father | 23 May | Done 23 May |
| Arrange educational psychology assessment | School pastoral team | 28 May | Waiting for update |
Record facts, not conclusions
Write what happened and how you know. Keep what you saw yourself separate from what someone told you, and from what you think it means.
The other parent always tries to stop me seeing my child.
Contact was due at 10am on 14 May. At 9.18am I got a message saying our daughter wouldn't be coming. I emailed the social worker at 9.35am and asked what arrangements should be followed.
Use phrases that show the source, like "I saw", "The school emailed", "My child said", "The police document records" or "I'm concerned that…".
When to write a separate incident note
Some things need more than a line in the log. Write a note when:
- contact doesn't happen, or an agreed arrangement is broken
- your child seems distressed or says something that worries you
- you're told something that contradicts what you were told before
- the police, a hospital or the school get involved
For each one, write the date, time and place, what you saw or received, how your child was affected, any witnesses, what you did next and any evidence you're keeping.
If in doubt, write it down. A note you never need costs nothing. A missing note when you do need it's a real gap.
Messages, photos and videos
Save a full WhatsApp export every so often. Screenshots should show who sent it, the date and time, and enough of the conversation to make sense. If you need to crop, label or highlight something, do it on a copy. Use clear file names, like "2026-03-15 WhatsApp export".
Only keep photos or videos that record something relevant, like an injury, damage or a condition affecting your child. Note when and where it was taken, who took it and what it shows.
Don't go into anyone else's phone or accounts without permission, change original material or ask your child to gather evidence. Never delay medical or safeguarding help to take a photo. If your child is injured, don't take intimate images. Ask a health or safeguarding professional to make the record.
After meetings and calls
Write brief notes of the main decision, each action and deadline, anything important you disagreed with and the next review date. Put just the main outcome in your key events.
After an important meeting or call, send a short email confirming what you understood.
Thanks for the call today. My understanding is that we agreed X, Y and Z. Please let me know if I've got anything wrong.
Check the official minutes
Minutes become part of the official record and may be relied on later, including in court. They're usually summaries, but they should accurately record important information, decisions, disagreements and actions.
Read them promptly and focus on errors or gaps that could affect your child, the plan, risk or your involvement. Send corrections in writing with evidence where you can.
The Child in Need review minutes dated [date], page [number], say: "[short quote]". This is inaccurate because [brief explanation]. I've attached [file name] as evidence. Please correct the record, or attach my response to the case file and note that the point is disputed.
Getting your records
You can ask the local authority for the personal information it holds about you with a subject access requestSubject access request (SAR). A request to an organisation for a copy of your own personal information. Some information can be withheld where an exemption applies. (SAR). Say which service, child, dates and records you mean. The local authority normally has one month to respond. It can extend that by up to two more months for complex requests, but it should tell you why within the first month.[3]
Having parental responsibilityParental responsibility. The legal rights, duties and authority a parent has in relation to a child. It does not on its own guarantee a set amount of time with the child. doesn't guarantee access to your child's whole file. Information can be held back to protect your child or other people.[4] If you need records urgently for proceedings, get legal advice.
Ten minutes is enough
Spend no more than ten minutes logging an event. Save the original, add one line to key events, update any action or deadline, then stop.
A short, accurate record is far more useful than overlapping logs and thousands of screenshots. It's there to help get the best decisions for your child, not to take over your life.
Ten minutes, then I close the folder.