Guides / Social services
Chapter 1 · 4 min read
The first 48 hours
In short
- 1Listen, take notes and ask for the concern and next steps in writing.
- 2Check your parental responsibilityParental responsibility. The legal rights, duties and authority a parent has in relation to a child. It does not on its own guarantee a set amount of time with the child. and ask for any support you need to take part.
- 3Don't react in anger, go quiet or involve your child.
The first call or letter is often the worst moment. You're shocked, you want answers, and you may want to defend yourself straight away. What you do in the next couple of days sets the tone for everything after it.
You don't need to have it all worked out. You need to understand what's happening, write things down and stay calm enough to take the next step.
On the first call
You will probably be caught off guard. That's normal. You don't have to explain everything there and then. Listen, take notes and ask a few simple questions.
Thanks for letting me know. I want to work with you on this. Can you tell me what the concern is, what happens next, and when? Could you also send that to me by email so I have it in writing?
Write down the social worker's name, team, phone number and email, the date and time of the call, and anything you have been asked to do or not do. If they mention a restriction, write down the exact words.
If you need time to think before answering a question, say so. "I'd like a moment to think about that, can I come back to you today?" is a perfectly reasonable thing to say.
Questions worth asking
- What's the concern, in plain words?
- Which process is this: an assessment, Family HelpFamily Help. The coordinated approach described in Working Together 2026, bringing targeted early help and section 17 support into a more seamless offer through a family help plan and named lead practitioner. Local arrangements…, or child protection enquiries under section 47Section 47. Local authority duty to make enquiries where there is reasonable cause to suspect significant harm.?
- Is there anything I need to do, or not do, right now? Is that a request, an agreement or a legal requirement?
- Will you be speaking to my child? When, and where?
- How will I be involved, and when will we meet?
- Who else is involved, such as the police or school?
You might not get every answer straight away. That's fine. Ask when you can expect them.
If the police are involved, or you have been sent a Letter Before ProceedingsLetter Before Proceedings. A formal letter telling a parent or other person with parental responsibility that the local authority is considering applying for a care or supervision order. or court papers, get legal advice now. Don't wait to see how it goes.
Check your parental responsibilityParental responsibility. The legal rights, duties and authority a parent has in relation to a child. It does not on its own guarantee a set amount of time with the child.
Checking parental responsibility Your rights as a father in Beyond the Referral. Ask the social worker to confirm how yours is recorded.
Make sure social care has recorded it correctly. If it's wrong, ask them in writing to correct it. Parental responsibility affects important decisions and access to information, but it doesn't guarantee contact or full access to your child's records. It also isn't the test for whether you should be involved. Fathers should be part of the assessment either way.[1]
Tell them what you need to take part
If disability, neurodivergence, mental health, literacy, language or anything else makes it harder for you to take part, tell the social worker early. Ask for the support you need, such as written questions, an interpreter, more notice before meetings or a supporter with you, and ask for it to be recorded. You may be entitled to reasonable adjustments under the Equality Act 2010.[2]
Make time for it
Social care may need to talk to you, visit your home or arrange meetings, sometimes at short notice. Make a reasonable effort to be available. You may need to ask your employer for some flexibility. Tell them only as much as you're comfortable with.
What not to do
- Don't fire off a long email or text tonight. Draft it, sleep on it and send something shorter.
- Don't contact the other parent to have it out, or post anything online about the case.
- Don't question your child about what they have said, or ask them to take sides.
- Don't go quiet. If you can't face a call, reply by email.
What to tell your child
Keep it simple and calm, and keep adult worries out of it. If they know someone is coming to see the family, something like this is usually enough:
Someone called a social worker is going to come and chat with us. Their job is to make sure children are OK. You can tell them anything, and you won't be in trouble for anything you say.
There's more on this in Your children through this.
Finding support Stay steady under pressure.